Why mindless TV is more important than ever
A celebration of the shows we turn to when we can't handle the (real-life) drama. Plus, should you see The Flash? And everything you need to plan your weekend viewing...
Hello and welcome to Rec Room! Lately I can’t shake this feeling of being stranded on a desert island. We moved house last weekend (it’s hell, never do it) and there’s been no wifi. So I couldn’t see the new season of Black Mirror, or the latest episodes of Silo and Platonic, or anything that required internet and streaming capabilities. Instead, while I’m unpacking cardboard boxes and trying to find homes for random things, I’ve been watching TV shows on my phone that are so uncool I’m almost afraid to own up to them. So I thought I’d use that to inspire today’s column. My name’s Chris, and yes, I’m addicted to bad TV. I’m sure you have your own version of this exact thing…
-Chris Schulz, senior writer, The Spinoff
Brain balm: Meet the world’s least informative TV hosts
“I skateboarded through the neighbourhood,” announces Luis D. Ortiz. He kicks the back of his board up, drops onto a bright blue stroller near his Netflix co-host Jo Franco, and exhales. Ortiz, one of three friends fronting the vapid holiday series The World’s Most Amazing Vacation Rentals, has been rolling his way through the leafy suburb of Wisconsin’s Two Rivers in search of cultural insights. He didn’t find any. “Even though it didn’t catch on,” says Ortiz about the 1940s holiday home from famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright he’s been staying in, “it rocked the entire world.”
Mindless? Definitely. Informative? Absolutely not. Now into its second season, Amazing Vacation Rentals jets its hosts into stunning locations to gush over homes with great bones, sweeping vistas and eye-watering price tags. They’ve scored their dream jobs, and they know it. The trio chat, giggle, gasp, and gawk. Franco has a habit of pointing at windows and ceilings and saying: “That’s art.” Megan Batoon calls at least three things “a masterpiece” in every episode. They breeze through each home spouting enough drivel to fill every room.
It’s about as vapid as TV can get. You’re not turning on a TV show like this expecting an education. You’re there to switch off your brain and zonk out. In one episode, they eat a fruit platter in a pool after doing downward dog on paddleboards. In another, they spend the night in sleeping bags glamping in a UFO-shaped orb. In Two Rivers, Ortiz sits on a hot pink toilet for a laugh. “I’m in the bathroom! I’m using it!” he yells, swinging the door wide open. That’s it. That’s the show. It never, ever gets any deeper than that.
That’s exactly how I like it. Right now, this inane nonsense is the only kind of TV my bothered brain can handle. I’ve just moved house and every room is filled floor-to-ceiling with cardboard boxes. There are things that need doing everywhere I look. Beds need to be made. Clothes need to be sorted. The kitchen looks like we need the Ajax Spray’n’Wipe clean up crew to hit it harder than that time Brendon Pongia farted during a cooking segment on live TV. Even finding a glass to drink out of is a mission.
I’m stressed. So, for comfort, I turn to TV’s least informative hosts. They’re not going to compound my problems. They won’t make me struggle to understand the inner workings of a family-owned media conglomerate, or a dystopian society in which women are forced to have babies, or immerse me in an apocalypse in which a grieving father tries to turn humanity’s last hope into his new daughter.
Instead, every time is a good time. There are laughs, giggles and high fives. In a stunning Joshua Tree rental made out of mirrored glass, they fall asleep under the stars. In the morning, they do laps in the pool. Yes, Ortiz brought his skateboard. He uses it to get around inside.
Amazing Vacation Rentals does exactly what it says it will do, and absolutely nothing more. It hits my zonk-out pleasure zone like nothing else. Everyone seems to have their own version of this, some kind of brain balm to soothe trouble souls. My desk neighbour Anna Rawhiti-Connell tells me she turns to a different Netflix real estate show, Selling Sunset. She’s been watching episodes every night to help her switch off. “There is no war, politics, recession or poverty, just an endless parade of hideous luxury clothing and homes in the Hollywood Hills,” she says. I get it. I’m not judging.
Sam Brooks has professed his love for YouTube many times before, and it’s the thing he uses to calm his nervous system. Lately, he’s been watching compilation videos from American Dad, The Nanny and 30 Rock. It’s equal parts comfort and nostalgia. “They rub that part of my brain that makes me laugh and also reminds me of an easier, warmer time.” My wife watches Queer Eye on Netflix for a similar reason. “Every episode you’re guaranteed a happy ending,” she says. Another colleague falls asleep to an episode of The Simpsons playing in a single earbud - but only from seasons 3-9.
Alex Casey has a variation on this. She watches YouTube gardening tours, which she calls “a very soothing and wholesome background noise to fold the washing to with many useful tips to absorb”. Her favourite is SpicyMoustache, a heavily tattooed Italian charmer with an incredible urban veggie garden in London. “Watching a seed grow into a giant broccoli feels like the perfect antidote to the digital deluge, a reminder to slow down and get your hands dirty,” she says.
Perhaps that’s the point. There are thousands of better shows out there that could improve my intelligence, teach me something about the world, or challenge my core beliefs. But it’s rough out there. The cost of living continues to escalate. Interest rates keep rising. People are being mean. Someone cut me off on the motorway recently and had the audacity to give me the finger. There’s a time and a place for The Handmaid’s Tale and The Last of Us, but when you’re unpacking a new home, still trying to sort out wifi, and dealing with road rage – that’s not it.
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Do you need to see The Flash?
The bones of a really fun movie are somewhere in this. The first 60 minutes are a blast. They’re funny and have some great action, but the wheels fall off in the second half, which is a slog. While Michael Keaton’s return as Batman is exciting, some truly janky, video game-esque CGI takes you out of the world they’ve spent an hour building. If you’re wondering about the Ezra Miller of it all? They’re really fun to watch, though of course it’s harder to enjoy when you know about all the … other stuff. Superhero movies need to get back to the basics because The Flash is just another example of how the genre works best when it’s not throwing everything imaginable at the screen. /Stewart Sowman-Lund
All the new stuff you can watch this weekend…
You wait for one blockbuster to show up, then three arrive all at once. Multiple big-screen adventures hit theatres this weekend, so take your pick. If you’re out on date night, the raunchy, Cameron Diaz-style rom-com No Hard Feelings seems like your best bet. Lawrence’s messy Maddie is hired to date nerdy kid Percy by his parents and mayhem ensues. Does it work? Most of the early reviews praise Lawrence and her “fearless” performance, with the New York Times calling her a “consistently incandescent screen presence”.
Elsewhere, Transformers finds its animal within in Rise of the Beasts, another noisy instalment of the toy bots film that pits Optimus Prime and co against a team of dinosaur-y villains. “Delivers on needless destruction and world-class stupidity,” quips the Observer. If that’s too much for your inner 13-year-old to cope with, Pixar’s quieter Elemental might be more up your alley, even if reviews are mixed and box office predictions are dire. “Feels like a Pixar first draft,” says reviewer Josh Larsen.
On streaming, Class of 09 (Disney+) is a time-bending, AI-driven thriller based around an FBI crime fighting division and starring Bryan Tyree Henry. “Cerebral, ambitious but frustratingly paced,” says Time. Also on Disney+, Marvel’s Secret Invasion sees the return of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. If you’re still interested in the antics of the Sex and the City squad, season two of And Just Like That… returns on Neon tonight, and this time they’re promising the (very brief) return of Samantha.
Elsewhere, Walking Dead: Dead City (TVNZ+) is yet another zombie spinoff but this one sounds surprisingly good. “May just be some life to be found in this dead world,” says Collider. Boots Riley’s I’m a Virgo (Prime Video) is the week’s wild card as it follows a 13-foot teen. “Wonderfully weird,” says The AV Club. And yes, they made an entire series out of James Corden’s late night skit: Carpool Karaoke: The Series debuts on Apple TV+ from June 23.
Finally, for all you Netflix diehards, Glamorous is what Kim Cattrall really did next after Sex and the City, and animated series Skull Island makes its debut. If you’re after a movie and No Hard Feelings is too R-rated for you, rom-com The Perfect Find could be your own perfect find, a “fashion-forward Netflix swooner,” says Variety.
For more, check out our weekly New to Streaming guide.
Does everyone have a right to learn te reo Māori?
In the first episode of 2 Cents 2 Much, Janaye speaks to her kaiako Jordyn with a Why and asks if Māori language classes should prioritise Māori applicants over Pākehā and tauiwi. And is Jordyn mad that Janaye dropped out of her own classes? Made with the support of NZ On Air.
Everything you need to know:
It’s funny and it’s silly, but it’s also heartfelt and honest. Naomii Seah reviews local TV rom-com Homebound 3.0 and calls it “casually groundbreaking”. Read her full report here.
In The Restaurant That Makes Mistakes, former My Kitchen Rules judge Ben Bayly helps eight volunteers with dementia staff their own restaurant. Tara Ward says it “quietly challenges our assumptions of what living with dementia means”.
The Flash appears to be a flop. Is the age of untouchable box office superheroes over? On industry podcast The Town, Matthew Belloni has a great explainer.
Taylor, no! What did we do to you? Swifties are outraged after Tay-Tay announced Australian shows, but none in New Zealand. Newshub charts the outrage.
The Real Pod, The Spinoff’s realest pop culture podcast, has some big breaking news to share. You can watch the unveiling here (don’t worry, they won’t keep you hanging, it’s revealed in the first five minutes).
If you’re trying to catch up on Outlander and wondering the heck is going on, Tara Ward has you covered with her guide to everything that’s happened so far.
Finally, here’s your trailer dump: The Deepest Breath examines the exploits of dare-devil freedom divers, Cobweb is a chilling horror starring Lizzy Caplan and Antony Starr, Zendaya is a troubled tennis star in Challengers, Gal Gadot’s Heart of Stone is one of those globe-trotting Netflix thrillers, and here’s your first look at the official Wham! documentary.
That’s it for Rec Room for this week. If you liked what you read, why not share Rec Room with your friends and whānau.
