Conan O’Brien just gave us the weirdest two minutes of Shortland Street ever
Plus: Netflix's new documentary about overconsumption, a local documentary shines a light on crime and trauma, and an adventure film set in an Amazonian abyss.
For the past three decades, there’s only been room for one Dr Love in Ferndale. Until now.
In its 32 glorious years, Shortland Street has given us a cornucopia of memorable celebrity cameos. We’ve had Ed Sheeran strumming his guitar in the IV, Rachel Hunter asking for change at reception, and even Hils Baz filming a Seven Sharp crossover episode. But last night, we saw the cameo to end all cameos, when American comedian Conan O’Brien made a brief but thrilling appearance on our longest-running soap.
O’Brien was visiting Aotearoa to film his travel series Conan O’Brien Must Go and, as well as popping into Shortland Street, he joined a world record haka attempt, hung out in Lyttleton and surprised two Christchurch fans. It’s not the first time Shortland Street has been popular with American late night talk show hosts, but after seeing what unfolded last night, no other celebrity appearance has ever been this deliciously absurd. The scene may have only lasted two minutes, but it was powerful enough to destabilise everything Shortland Street holds dear.
O’Brien played Aiden Archer, a visiting American doctor and an old foe of Dr Chris Warner’s. Their reunion was awkward. Chris asked Aiden if he was still a doctor, despite Aiden wearing purple scrubs and standing in a hospital. Aiden called “Chrissy” and revealed he’d come “down under” for a “woman”. Warner nodded. He understands better than anyone that the suction power of a good woman can pull grown men across both hospitals and hemispheres.
In this brief moment, under the fluorescent lights of publicly funded healthcare, time fell away. The longtime frenemies were now hornbags united – until Archer uttered seven words that would shatter Chrissy’s heart into a million little pieces.
“They don’t call me Dr Love for nothing.”
For the past three decades, there’s only been room for one Dr Love in Ferndale. This was a battle of l’amour. Who did this new Dr Love think he was, sauntering into town with his exotic accent and a swagger that just won’t quit?
We’ll never know, because things took a surprising turn. Yes, Archer was still jumping out of planes in his spare time, but he’d found a new hobby. “I’ve also gotten into bears lately,” he revealed. You heard him right: he’s gotten into bears. “Sometimes they don’t want to die, but there’s something about a bear's flesh on my skin, that’s just…” The new Dr Love paused, trying to find the words to express whatever the hell was going on here. He sighed and looked skyward. “It’s a rush.”
Chris Warner may have been divorced five times, attacked, shot, framed for murder, assaulted, and fallen off a flying fox, but he has never murdered a bear and nestled into its dying flesh. A life half lived is no life at all Chrissy, which is probably why Warner quickly decided his only option was to distract Archer from whatever batshit thing was going to come out of his mouth next.
Dr Warner had a medical quandary, and old mate bear killer was the only one who could help.
What followed was like no other Shortland Street conversation we’ve seen. Over the next 60 seconds, the two Dr Loves unleashed a spectacular barrage of complicated medical terminology at one another, batting “hypoparathyrodism”, “pseudohypoparathydoism” and “pseudopseudohypoparathyrodism” back and forward like a magnificent game of big word ping pong.
Their eyes locked as their tongues twisted excitedly over hypocalcemia, hyperphosphatema and persistent paresthesia. No consonant was safe, no condition left unsaid. It was like they were each other’s mirror. Before our very eyes, the two Doctor Loves were merging into one.
But what of the poor creature who ailed in the bed behind them, her medical future resting in the soft hands of two men with giant egos and even bigger hair?
Her name was Tracey. She was definitely not a bear, but one of Chrissy and Aiden’s favourite things: a woman. “I had a girlfriend named Tracey once,” Archer sighed, as he led Chrissy into Tracey’s room. The pair were now joined in medical matrimony, with Love being the winner on the day. The scene was complete. Conan O’Brien’s astonishing two minute performance was over, but frankly, the questions had just begun.
Shortland Street streams on TVNZ+ and screens Monday-Friday on TVNZ2 at 7pm.
An update on the response to our open letter
It’s been a fortnight since we published our open letter outlining our current reality.
We revealed that only 2% of our audience support us financially and shared the real need to double the number of members who support us with monthly or annual payments. As of today, we are over one third of the way towards that target.
The response to our letter has been encouraging. Thank you to all our existing members who responded by donating or increasing their contributions. We’re grateful to all who also decided to sign up again. Welcome to our new members. We’re delighted to have you.We still have a way to go, but the support has made us as determined as ever to get there. Please continue to spread the word and share the letter. You can also gift someone a membership for Christmas or donate as an organisation or company.If you haven't yet, please become a member or donate today.
Why should watch: Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy (Netflix)
Before you head off to the malls and/or fill your online cart to the brim this festive season, it's worth reminding yourself that planet earth is currently heaving with hundreds of thousands of tonnes of unwanted sneakers, H&M tube tops, broken gadgets and assorted knick knacks. Buy Now! is not the most artfully assembled documentary on the subject of consumption, and I definitely could have done without the condescending Siri-style narrator, but I am at the point where I will watch literally anything to feel like less of a failure for not buying swanky brand brand new presents every year. Although sometimes vibing like a Year 11 media studies student who just found out about capitalism, the documentary has genuinely staggering moments, from the formerly pristine beach in Ghana choked by discarded fast fashion, to the former Amazon higher-up sharing her experiences of Bezos' bottomless greed. If you can get past the ugly graphics and patronising narrator, its a must-watch for everyone at this exact moment. / Alex Casey
Why you should watch: Ram Raid Mums (TVNZ+)
Liam Rātana watched the new TVNZ documentary that shines a light on what drives our youth to commit ram raid crimes, by talking to whānau of the youth involved and meeting the team at Mata Inc, who work to support families to break the cycle of crime and trauma. “We meet three mums whose children have all been involved with ram raids together, and follow the journey of Sonnie, a young ringleader who is fighting to turn his life around after engaging with a community group called Mana Inc,” Rātana reviews, calling it a “beautifully shot and well produced documentary that approaches sensitive issues with careful consideration”.
More pop culture news from The Spinoff:
From Chris Warner’s beard to Newshub’s tearful goodbye, we’ve got all the best TV moments that gripped the nation this year.
Alex Casey took a look back at the long history of New Zealand’s child stars shining on the world stage and asks: are they our greatest export?
Another must read from Alex Casey this week is this piece about the importance of small town cinemas, and the ways that they’re becoming the thriving heart of their communities.
Claire Mabey rounds up New Zealand’s best book covers of 2024, and also announces the top NZ books of the year.
TVNZ broadcaster Scotty Stevenson shared the live TV sporting moment he’d rather forget in this week’s My Life in TV.
Ngāti Hine historian and producer Mokotron shares his perfect weekend playlist.
Former underage gig-goers turned average-age music lovers Gabi Lardies and Lyric Waiwiri-Smith review Double Whammy’s first all-ages gig.
Looking for something good to watch this weekend? We’ve got you covered with our new to streaming list.
Get the best of the Spinoff sent to you over summer
Sign up for The Spinoff Daily to receive our twice-weekly summer digest. Sent to you at the leisurely time of 10am on Tuesdays and Fridays over the summer break, you can enjoy a handpicked selection of the best of The Spinoff this year. Perfect for beach, bach, backyard or travel reading.
Why you should watch: The Lost City Of Z (TVNZ+)
In the same year Tom Holland was introduced to the world as Spiderman, he also co-starred in the epic adventure flick The Lost City of Z. The film – “a lush, melancholic story of discovery and mystery,” – is helmed by James Gray, a modern master of American cinema. Holland, Charlie Hunnam, Sienna Miller and Robert Pattinson are revelatory in the tracing of the true-story Col Percival Fawcett and his doomed obsession with finding the elusive El Dorado-like city called Z. One critic called this film an “enthralling masterpiece”, so check out the film if you dare adventure into the Amazonian abyss. / Thomas Giblin
Before we pop off…
Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim premiered in Hobbiton this week, and Brian Cox gave RNZ this great answer to which of his characters would win in a fight.
Hera Lindsay Bird ranks the Dunedin malls that are actually all one mall.
35 years of TV3’s news archive has been preserved and protected with Warner Bros donating 400,000 stories and programmes to Nga Tāonga Sound and Vision.
There’s some fantastic ideas in our 2024 Kirihimete gift guide that features cool stuff from Māori and Pasifika-led brands.
Big news for Gavin and Stacey fans: Nearly twenty years since it first hit our screens, the beloved comedy is back for its long-awaited final episode, streaming on TVNZ+ from Boxing Day.
I loved this story about New Zealander Nigel Richards, who won the Spanish World Scrabble Championships last week despite not speaking a word of Spanish. Scrabble YouTuber Will Anderson has made a fascinating video about it too.
That’s it for Rec Room for this week. If you liked what you read, why not share Rec Room with your friends and whānau.
